Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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