Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
