I murdered the dance floor call the cops
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
