so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
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how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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