you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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