Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize