When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Couch. On fire.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
