i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Randomize