So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think your dad took our porno
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
