dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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