you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize