I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
