I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
