Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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