I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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