somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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