onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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