Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
