True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
