im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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