I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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