it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
