I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
