its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
