we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize