you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
God I need to hump something, right now.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
