Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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