but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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