Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
