why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
it was like eating out sand paper
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
