Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
