Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
