You work out of a Hotel?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
