I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
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