I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Too much gin, very little bucket
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
