Hey man sorry I got all grabby
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
