Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
