bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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