Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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