as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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