WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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