I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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