My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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