I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You made out with two different species that night
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize