Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
