No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize
