He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
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He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
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we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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