He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
