I want to walk on stilts...naked
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
