grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
