I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My ass is underappreciated
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
