guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
