I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
