I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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