i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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