i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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