I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
it's great music for shaving your balls
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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