I want to make a zoo with you.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
